My dearest Harry
by Matula
Summary: Severus wants Harry back, but can he win him back?


Disclaimer: I do not ow Harry Potter

A/N: I started to write this at a Swedish lesson months ago, but finished it only yesterday. Well, I hope you like it!

(Severus PoV)

I'm alone again, and I'm the only one to blame this time. I screwed up, and I know I did. You left because I couldn't tell you the things that you needed to hear. I couldn't tell you that I... That I love you. See, it wasn't that hard, was it? The only problem is that you can't hear me now. It doesn't matter how loud I say it. I can climb up on the roof of the highest tower and scream at the top of my lungs, and yet you won't hear me. You're gone, so far away. But I promise that if I find you and it'll help me to win you back I'll do it. I will climb up on the roof of the astronomy tower and scream that I love you. I won't care if the entire school hear and see me, and later the whole wizarding world will know that I love you. Because hopefully you'll be with me then. Proabably it'll never happen, but maybe.

I never understood, and never will understand what you, young, beautiful and kind, saw in me, old, ugly and broken. But I think that you have realized now that you deserve someone else. Someone that is young, beautiful and most important, someone who is whole. A person that's everything I'm not. A person who can let you in. I couldn't do that, I was so afraid of getting hurt. I didn't want you to know all my dark secrets. I thought that they might scare you away. Now I know better, it wasn't _what _my secrets were that frightned you. It was the fact that they were secrets. If I can get you back I promise that I will tell you all of my secrets. I've been making a lot of promises lately. It's only because I'll do anything to get you back. It's because I need you, because I love you. I don't know where you are, but I'll find you. I hope that all the things you said to me are true and that you can give me one more chance. Not that I deserve it, but if you give me one I'll do my best to prove my love to you. I love you, Harry, and I'm really sorry that I let it go this far.

(Harrys PoV)

What did I do wrong? All I did was telling you the truth, and the truth is that I love you, Severus. I really do, but you just couldn't get it. If you didn't love me you only had to tell me. Maybe you thought that it would hurt me, but not knowing is even worse. Because that means I can still hope, and that's what I'm doing. I hope that somewhere deep in your heart you love me. I know that it's stupid, but I can't stop, just as much as I can't stop love you. I keep hoping that you'll search for me and beg me to come back, and I will come back to you. If you tell me that you love me. If you can't do that I won't. Because I can't be with someone who doesn't love me. Then I'm rather alone, even though it hurt so much. It's better than being with you, because that hurt even more. Didn't you see how much you hurt me? Don't you understand how much you still hurt me?

Harry slowly walked down the main street in Hogsmeade towards the Three Broomsticks. He didn't know why Ron had asked him to come since they had had lunch together yesterday and everything had been fine. But Harry wasn't going to let is best friend down if he needed him. When Harry reached Honeydukes a big poster caught his eye, and that wasn't so weird.

My dearest Harry

You are sweeter than the sweetest of sweets that you love. A gift is waiting for you inside.

With all my love...

Puzzled Harry walked into the shop.

"Mr Potter!" the witch behind the counter said when he stepped inside. "I've been waiting for you. You are a very lucky man, Mr Potter." She handed over a bag that were filled with all of Harrys favourite candy.

"Who is it from?" Harry asked as he took the bag.

"I can't tell you that," the witch answered with a laugh. "Now off you go." She gestured towards the door and Harry left.

Lost in thoughts Harry keept walking towards the Three Broomsticks.

_"Who gave me this? It's surely not Ron and Hermione, but whoever did it must have contacted at least Ron," _Harry thought. But his thoughts didn't get further since another poster at the door in to Zonkos got his attention.

My dearest Harry

You act as if you were an adult, but on the inside you are still a child. Keep that child alive. Go inside and see what you can find.

With all my love...

Harry opened the door and stepped inside.

"Mr Potter," the wizard greeted him. "Here is your gift." He gave Harry another bag, this one filled with different prank items.

"I suppose that you're not allowed to tell me who the giver is," Harry said.

The wizard smiled at him. "Right you are, Mr Potter."

Harry sighed. "Well, goodbye then."

This time Harry didn't get far at all before he saw the next poster. It was sitting at the fench that surronded the Shrieking Shrack.

My dearest Harry

A long time ago a family lived in this house. The house was their home, and they were very happy here. But for me the only thing that I need to make a place home and to be happy is not a thing. It is a person, and that person is you.

With all my love...

Harry looked at the house.

_"It's hard to belive that someone have lived in this house," _he thought. _"Well, now is not the time to think about that. Ron must be waiting if he is here at all." _

Harry set of towards the pub. There were no more posters along the way, and ten minutes later he stepped into the Three Broomsticks. Harry looked around and found the pub empty.

"Ron?" he said questioning. As answer Ron walked out so that Harry could see him. He held up a fourth poster.

My dearest Harry

Butterbeer and firewhisky make me drunk, but not as drunk as you make me. Your smile and laugh make it hard for me to stand up straight. When I feel your skin against mine I forget about everything else.

With all my love...

"There's someone out there who loves you very much, Harry," Ron said with a smile.

"Who is it?" Harry asked without much hope that Ron would tell him.

"I can't tell you, but you'll find out soon enough," Ron answered. He put the poster down and grabbed one of Harrys wrists and dragged him out again.

"Ron, why are we going towards Hogwarts?" Harry asked when he realized where they were going.

"You'll see," was all Ron said. _"And hear," _he added in his thoughts.

And indeed Harry got to. When they were about 150 meters from the castle they heard a voice screaming.

"I LOVE YOU, HARRY POTTER! I REALLY DO LOVE YOU!"

Harry stopped and looked from Ron to the person standing on the roof of the astronomy tower and back again.

"Is that Sev?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry, it is your Sev," Ron answered with a big smile. All Harry could do was stare at Severus who had started to make his way down from the roof.

"What are you still doing here?" Ron asked and took the bags out of Harrys hands. "Go to him!"

That was all Harry needed and he started to run towards the castle. Quickly he made his way up the stairs, and when he reached the fifth floor he saw Severus. The older man turned around a corner with the same speed as Harry, but stopped when he saw the younger man stand five meters away from him. For a few seconds they just stood there and looked at each other. Then Harry closed the distance between them in a second and flung his arms around Severus neck.

"I love you too," Harry whispered with tears in his eyes. Severus smiled and put his arms around the waist of the man he loved to, if possible, pull the young man closer.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. Can you ever forgive me?" Severus looked down into Harrys green eyes that were filled with tears.

"I already have," Harry answered and leand forward to press a gentle kiss onto Severus lips.

"I love you so much, Harry. I will never let you go again," Severus whispered and kissed away the tears that had started ro run down Harrys cheeks.

"Good, because I don't ever want to go again," Harry said and captured Severus lips once again.

The End


End file.
